Guided by voices [1]

vol 102

A topic that is not as dear to my heart as it should be is the art of sexual intercourse. Last week i sampled one of the three podcasts a german newspaper released on the topic. The goal of it being to right a few myths surrounding sex. It was not the first podcast about the topic i listened to but it had the same problem i had with the once before it. The presentation is to sexy.
Of course one could argure that this is the point of such a programm. To educate people the teacher should make the impression of actually being knowledgable. And sex is actually a good metaphor because like humans it has evolved. The act itself fulfills the same basic function of the means to keep the species going. But over time it has also become a leisure activity. We can prevent the conception of a child and thus focus on the fun part of it. I enjoy hearing a smooth, deep voice talking about sex in a playful manner. For educational purposes though i’d prefer a dry approach. Or to “make me a baby” to ride the metaphor into the sunset.
I remember the first time the local school system tried to explain to me where babys come from. A then recent documentary on the topic was procured. It was worth the money, it showed me things i was never able to imagine the process to look like. It was strange to learn that the penis is used for more than expelling waste[2]. What i remember to this day is the filmed ejaculation. I can’t say for sure if they shoved a camera down a guy’s wiener for this. It was the late 80’s and vhs recorders you could shoulder for an hour without pain were the GoPro’s of the time. So in hinsight the scene might have been a set. Anyway, we saw a rosy coloured tunnel. The voice over told us about the location and that we are about to wittness the wonder of creation. And then the whole thing went in the direction of Temple Of Doom. A gush of liquid came around the corner. And that is a good summarization of the whole thing. The insight we got was amazing but we never saw people bone. Took me a while until i realized that you have to combine the no-no parts. With the image described you know how the process looks like in detail but not the activity itself.
So here is my dilemma, sex does not frustrate me but i’m unsure about my performance. People who try to help me but make the impression of being super sure of themselves aren’t helping. Being to passive and professional leaves me wondering. TV and movies aren’t the best teachers. And the amount of porn we have access to these days will make sure that my offspring will be even more bewildered.
Which is a strangely comforting thought.

Thanks for your time!
Stay cosmic

———

[1] good music from an overlooked band that inspired this title Guided by voices – Game of pricks
[2] mean people could say that the second function might be a way to create more waste

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Age appropriate for an appropriate age

vol 101

The latest episode of the Force Ghost Coast To Coast podcast[1] host Brian Salvador had a special guest. His five year old daughter Joined him to talk about Star Wars. They have an adorable conversation[2] but are five years of life enough time for preperation? There were parents who brought their three year old kids to The Force Awakens. Not all kids are alike and parents should be able to judge what is appropriate for their offspring. Yet, some parents took their kids to the toilet when Kylo showed his Dad how deep they drilled into the planet. There even is a fan edit that shows Han’s demise to be a trigger happy Stormtrooper.
Of course i’m looking forward to introducing my kid to Star Wars; given the fact that it shows interest in it. Yet there are parents that leave the impression of forcing their kid to like the same stuff as them or something predetermined. Is that a manifestation of fear of rejection? And shouldn’t we know from our own experience that we did reject most if the things our parents liked? Later we might realize that we were wrong or that there are certain things we can enjoy together.
Aren’t mentioned parents the reason that the regulation rock got loose? Talking about methods of upbringing is a soil field[3]. With some people acting as if you challenged them to a duell for suggesting an alternative. The discussion about a clothing “for boys” being the reason for a girl toddler to turn gay is a thing i experienced. “The kid has no knowledge about gender yet and you’re thinking about it’s sexuality?” is also a bad argument to make if you don’t want the discussion to last long.
My dad recently told me the following:

We were raised to be confident and with 22 you’re still feeling like the world bows to you. And then a kid comes along and becomes a huge challenge that makes you feel like kneeling before the world. But every other parent you meet acts confident, like they have it figured all out. On the second look though you notice that they’re in the same boat. You smell it in the alcohol on the breath of the men, from fleeing the situation by saying that they’ll scheduled for overtime. You see it in the red, tired eyes of the mothers. And when they announce that a sibling is on the way, it sounds like an obituary read out by a comedian.
I think it is a good thing that parents today allow themselves to be human and not pretend to be more than they are.”

I guess my point is to try and keep my kid from watching Robocop at the age of six.
By then some crazy guy will have sold cyberzombies to patrol the streets anyway.


[1] Force Ghost Coast to Coast: Minisode: The Next Generation of Star Wars Fan
[2] two times i felt like Dad demanded to much from his kid, there is to much going on in those movies, it’s amazing she remembered as much
[3] because the ground is made of primed mines with soil in between them